If I were to roll out of bed this morning and find that there was a machine by my bed that could break time and send me spiralling back two days prior, I would probably lay there for many minutes trying to figure out just what I would want to change about Tuesday, December 4th, 2012. Nothing too exciting happened.
I kissed my love.
I held him close and cried upon his shoulder and told him how much he meant to me.
In return he held me to his chest and wiped my tears, telling me I had nothing to be afraid of.
But, if I could chose… I would take away that fear. I would make some strange decision that would forever rid myself of that painful fear that one day I might lose him forever. Hell, I’m almost half-way there.
Two days ago I loved and fell asleep happy and exhausted.
Exhausted not only from the fear and the pain, but from the love as well.
It is hard to love someone. It takes a lot of work for someone like me to let someone else inside that way.
But, I would not change the love.
And maybe not even the pain.
For the pain will make me stronger and some day I will grow and thrive on that pain, with or without him to hold my hand, kiss my lips, and wipe my tears.
Afterall, I have wiped them by myself for so long, why should someone else need to do it for me?
I am perfectly capable of it on my own.