The curve of her hip

The curve of my neck

Her lip

My brow

Her palm

My cheek

Her curled toes beneath the bedsheets

Her deep brown eyes in the moonlight

Her warm skin against mine


My dreams


The Red Herring

beware of the red herring
it will wreak havoc on your mind
it will sneak up on you quietly
it will pipe you a tune and lead you away
it will kiss caress you with thoughts of a faraway land
it will whisper the words of a madman
it will make you dream a different dream
it will steal the thoughts pouring from your fingers
it will


This is shit

I want to feel the bones crack
I want to feel the splinters in my knuckles
I want to feel the blood drip from my fingertips
I want to feel the anger flow through me
I want to feel


The Rules of the Tree

Lead a simple life like a tree, for it only needs food, water, and sunlight to survive.
Take only what is necessary, and give only life and beauty in return, but don’t give more than what people deserve or need.
Produce a fruit unlike no other.
Be unique.
No thumbprint is the same.
No ring of bark is the same.
Stand tall.
Weather all storms.
Even though pieces of you may break away.
You will not fall.
No one can change you or challenge you.
Reach deep.
Give strength.
Provide a home.
Provide a shelter.
Do no harm.
If you do this right, you will be felt around the world.
Be the weapon and the shield.
Be loyal.
Entertain, protect, and teach the youth.
Conquer love.
Feel life flowing through you at every moment.
The little things in your life need to be positive.
Those little things feed into the big things.
Let those little things be the very tip of your roots.
Let your roots be what provide nourishment.
Your roots provide the positivity that will blossom into what you put out into the world.
The fruit.
The wisdom.
The life.
The beauty.
The protection.
Protect everything from the ant to the bear.
Let your arms be the branches, always leave them open wide.
Let the people of the world be the birds and accept them all into open arms.
Let everything nestle between your leaves and branches, say its peace, then leave.
Let each piece of the world become a part of you for at least a little while.
Take on all the weight for the chance of easing another’s pain, but don’t forget to let it go, or your leaves will rot and your branches will break.
The big bad things are seemingly more powerful than the big good things, don’t let this break you.
This is why strong roots are important.
Feed your roots nothing but positive, nourishing, fruitful things so that no matter the storm, you will heal and be whole again someday, no matter how many years it takes.
Be good to your roots, don’t forget them, because despite them being invisible to the surface viewer, they are there, they are you, they matter, they affect more than just you.
Keep your eyes on the sky and the Earth, for nothing else matters.
Respect and love your Mother.
The Seasons are the hills and valleys, which is which is for you to decide.
Listen to the stories that the wind whispers to you.


Writer’s Devotional – Week 1


January 1, 2018

Writers on Writing: “The role of the writer is not to say what we can all say but what we are unable to say.” – Anïs Nin

Unlike the authors referenced in this passage, I do not write to voice the oppressed. I write to voice myself. My voice has never been heard in my family life nor in my friendships and relationships. I write to voice myself and people like me who feel unheard and stuck in their silence where people do not understand and so not try to understand. There are so many people, like me, who suffer silently from social anxiety and depression and the overwhelming fear of unacceptance. I want to fight for those people by not being afraid to write and voice my opinions, feelings, thoughts, etc. through my fiction and poetry and through my occasional political/social voice.
I feel as though nobody in the states takes mental illness seriously anymore because of the giant influx of people self-diagnosing themselves with these ‘disorders’ over the past ten years or so. Now, I do not disagree with those people that self-diagnose that they have the feelings they have. But, in doing so they take away from the people that are actually suffering a great deal and are too afraid to get help or cannot afford to get help. I write for those people and I write for myself. May we be heard.


January 2, 2018

Motivation: “The indispensable first step to getting the things you want in life is this: decide what you want.” – Ben Stein

I particularly enjoyed this passage as I am most definitely at a loss for what kind of writer I want to be/become and where I want my writing to take me. My writing brings me a sort of solace, an escape, a wonderland where anything is possible and my pain is extinguished, if even for a short while. I also have a deep love for those blunt quotes about being a better you or living a better life…they provide that clear thinking that I seem to be lacking in my own mind. I thrive off of them. Perhaps that is my downfall as a writer? I strive to write these long pieces of fiction and yet I always find myself writing short bursts of poetry and prose and they never seem to add up to much more than a few lines that I cannot get out of my head. Throughout this journey, I hope to figure out which side of the coin is my calling. Heads: Novels. Tails: Pointless Quotes.


January 3, 2018

Writing Class: Write a short biography about your best friend. 

Flames bursting through the cracks of the Earth. This is what I think of when I think of him. The fire in my heart was put out long before he entered my world, but he managed to relight it with the flames of his own.
What truly amazes me, however, is that he had any fire left after the pain he has experienced in his time on this planet. He has been cheated, lied to, abandoned, forgotten, abused, neglected, left behind, and torn apart by those he gave his whole heart to. Perhaps this is why I find myself wondering if there is more to his heart that I have yet to see? I feel he hides.
His journey began in Florida and took him North to where we eventually met, in North Carolina. In the in-between, he found himself in Minnesota, Arizona, and southern California, but he came back to North Carolina for some reason. I find myself getting angry at him for leaving the amazing money that he was making in Arizona because he walked away from beautiful opportunities from what I understand. But, selfishly I am quite happy that he did come back because otherwise we would not have met and we would not have made our beautiful daughter and created an amazing life together.
This prompt seems silly to me. How can I write a biography about someone who I am still learning from every single day? Who I have a whole life to live with? Pft. Is this some sort of test? I failed.


January 4, 2018

Editing: “The key to revision is learning to look at your work with an editor’s eye.” – The Writer’s Digest Writing Clinic

This particular view on the art of editing made me realize that I have a serious tendency to develop red herrings. By that I mean that my writing sometimes drifts off into a direction I did not intend or it drifts off and ends up hitting a dead end with nowhere to turn around and then I either lose interest in my project and give up or I delete my passage and forget where it was I wanted my writing to go in the first place. This is definitely a place where I can improve as a writer/story-teller.


January 5, 2018

Biography: “In a time of universal deceit- telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” – George Orwell

I don’t get much from biographies….are they necessary to be good at this trade?



January 6, 2018

Books to Read: “It would be unrealistic to believe that one book could bring a complete change.” – Rachel Carson

This passage has only added another item to my mental list of reasons not to let anyone silence my voice. If you believe in something strongly enough and you fight for it long enough your voice will be heard by someone. Who those ears belong to does not matter so long as you influence a mind other than your own. I look forward to reading Rachel Carson’s book Silent Spring.


January 7, 2018

Writing Prompt: If I could live anywhere in the world… 

When I was growing up I always wanted to live in Greece, it was my wildest fantasy that I could think of. I was absolutely fascinated with Greek Mythology and was determined to visit Athens and climb mount Olympus and look the gods in the face just to prove the world of Christianity wrong. I still think it is wrong. I still think that thunder crashing and lightning striking is Zeus throwing a temper tantrum. I still think that the waves in all the seven seas are because Poseidon’s horses are stamping their feet. I believe that all souls must travel the River Styx and stare Hades in the face to meet their eternal fate.
These days I would settle for much less than Greece. If I had all the choice in the world as to where I wanted to live out the rest of my days it would be on a farm that I have created for myself and for my family. I want to make my holiday pies from the apples and pumpkins in my backyard. I want to hear the rooster each morning, no matter how annoying it gets. I want goats to stand on my roof like they have conquered Mount Everest- because to them they have and I will be proud of them. I want to watch my daughter feed a calf through a bottle. I want to watch her laugh as she holds a baby chick for the first time. I want to listen to her squeal as the ducks chase her away from the pond in the springtime. I want to have a root cellar where I cure meats and dry herbs. I want to truly provide for my family and not put that job onto others. That is where I want to live. I want to live in a home I have built from the ground up.



I feel like I am self-destructing…
Maybe in another life, we could have been together.
Part of me wishes this were that lifetime.
You made me forget the hurt,
You made me want to forget the hurt.
Even if it was just one lip-locked moment.
And that high took us higher than any drug.
I wish this life were different.
You would be my drug of choice…

Overdose me with your toxic lips.