Nightmare Journal: Entry #1

May 6th, 2015

I woke in a panic, his arm wrapped around my shoulders kept me still, but it only caused me to panic even more. Why can’t I move my arms? What’s going on?! How could you do this to me!?! I whimpered into my pillow as he tried to quiet me, slowly waking from my bad dream. I buried my face into his chest and wrapped my arms around him tightly, he returned the gesture and kissed my forehead. Soon, he was snoring once again, but I lie awake, replaying the images that tortured me behind my eyelids.

It was dark, we were standing in the parking lot of our apartment complex, he and I. We were laughing, hanging out with our friends, drinking and having a great time together.
He went upstairs to use our bathroom and returned moments later. I waltzed up to him in my drunken stupor and kissed him. Passion coursed through my veins and a tenderness invaded our eyes. I loved him so much in that moment. Someone called his name… the moment was over, but had not left my mind.
He set down his phone on the hood of a car, it was still unlocked and face-up, the screen lit up brightly as a message finished sending. I went to pick it up, not wanting anyone to steal his phone or have it get broken. What was on his screen shot through my heart like a million knives, I dropped the phone to the ground, not wanting to see anymore of it. I looked over towards him, he had not even noticed the sound of his phone falling to the concrete. I closed my eyes for a moment, the text-image of a nude woman burned into my eyelids. I opened my eyes and dropped my drink to the ground next to his phone and brought my hands to my face, trying not to think of the picture that followed, his own nude photo and words that he only whispered to me under the shelter of night in our bedroom, our most intimate moments. My body began to shake as I screamed his name, tears boiling up in my eyes. He turned and looked at me, his hands buried deep into his hoodie pockets. He glanced at the ground, a glimpse at his phone and he knew I had seen what I was not supposed to see. I caught his gazed and our eyes locked together as he walked back over to me. I picked up the phone and looked at the screen again before turning it around so he could see what I was looking at. I threw the phone at him and it slapped his chest, he drew his hands up to attempt catching the device, but it hit the asphalt with a cracked screen which flickered and went dark. I bent down, retrieved my empty cup and threw that at him as well.
Tears began to well up in his eyes as well as I screamed at him obscenities and profanities that I did not know I knew. The screaming became muffled as the images became blurred…

“Baby…baby wake up…”

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